![]() "This is a time of asking questions and building your identity." Those who go out of their way to look like they've got it all figured out are often totally transparent anyway. "For right now, it's OK not to have all the answers," says Kaufman. I think you see that in celebrities like Britney Spears." "They see younger kids having fun and realize that they may have missed out on those experiences, pushing themselves toward adulthood. "I see many of my students mourning their lost childhoods," says David Elkind, Ph.D., author of The Hurried Child (Da Capo Press) and professor emeritus of child development at Tufts University. Though being a teenager can often be frustrating, it's important to realize it's a singular time that many people regret rushing through later in life. So taking on more responsibility at school, having a genuine interest in a challenging topic, or developing a put-together style can be good-as long as those things aren't done just for show. "That may be a direction they choose to head in even if they don't actually understand the content at the moment." And Whitney says that though some girls in her school thought The Mom's behavior was silly, others looked up to her for her maturity. "Girls who say they read The New Yorker are showing they want to be taken seriously intellectually," Kaufman says. Kaufman says acting more mature can have some benefits-like helping to form a long-term identity. ![]() Holly admits to being wooed by the facade: "I see how much fun 20-somethings have going out to bars and dancing, and all I can think about is wanting to do that instead of enjoying the life I have now," she says. "We all fall in love with the illusion that the next stage is going to be what we want," says Kaufman of the media's influence. Taylor admitted to her adult proclivities in Teen Vogue's September 2009 cover story: "I'm not going to date someone who's sixteen," she said. "Taylor Momsen is dressing way beyond sixteen and walking around smoking without trying to hide it at all," says Maggie. It's not only fictional characters who make older behavior look both cool and normal-young stars often become insta-adults when they're thrust into the spotlight. There's tremendous pressure on girls in terms of presentation and performance." "Parents want teens to respect their authority and at the same time be more independent," she says. ![]() "From a young age, immature behavior was not acceptable." Parents sometimes send mid messages, says clinical psychologist Limor Kaufman, Ph.D. "We always want to appear older." "My parents have always expected my siblings and me to act older than we are," says Josy. "Very rarely do you see a teenager wanting to be more of a kid," says Holly, sixteen, from Ocean City, New Jersey. ![]() Pressure to grow up quickly comes from many sources-be it parents, friends, or the media. Striving to be more sophisticated is understandable in today's fast-forward culture. "A lot of girls at my school put on stilettos and skimpy dresses to seem older," says Josy, seventeen, from San Francisco. ![]() "She dressed like she was in her 40s, and all her mannerisms were very adult." Other teens who are trying to look more mature eschew the Ann Taylor Loft and go straight to Cougar town. "There was this one girl whom everyone in my high school called The Mom," says Whitney, nineteen, from Boston. ![]()
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